Validation... Listening.... New plans...

Ooof... what an emotional lesson... but I didn't let myself really dwell on it, because... no crying!! There's no crying in horseback riding. Sigh... ha! 

I knew she might be lame but... Jacel is so good at "investigations" and working around things that it was worth a try. Like Liz.. maybe we could ride her sound. So... I tacked her up and we headed to the arena. We got on and started walking around and she was a slug. Like... She was not wanting to go. I should have grabbed my whip. Jacel showed up pretty quickly and we were chatting but Lyric was just dragging. I told Jacel that she had been lame and what my thoughts on the matter were. I mentioned that I really didn't think it was foot and thought it was her cervicothoracic area but you know.. who am I to think I'm right and two really smart vets are wrong. Although Jacel made a good point... they can only see what is right in front of them... I've got the whole story. So... we figured we'd see what we had. 

I picked up the trot and she wasn't lame. We trotted a few circles on a loose rein and she was sound... then we went to the right... still sound. Yay! But then she started to get super fussy. She was chompy and rooting and inverting. And.. maybe it's because she was a slug and I was getting annoyed. Maybe it's because I was in a lesson and didn't ride her the exact same way I had been riding her. Maybe I was rushed... I don't know. She was just not a happy camper. So then we did some figure 8's at the trot and she would sort of kind of settle. But not really. So then we tried a canter. I was a little scared to ask to be honest. She just felt like she really didn't want to work and I was a little worried she was going to try to buck me off if I asked. And bless her... she was not happy about it but she did it. When I went the other way though she did let out a giant big buck and almost got me off. So then we tried again and she did it. Jacel had us do some figure 8's with simple changes. And it was hard. And not fun. And Lyric was miserable. She let out multiple bucks here and there. Not happy bucks... Not "wheeees". And she was running into the canter and bracing. And granted... the figure 8's were tight... I wasn't preparing her probably quite like I do when I ride on my own because I tend to "baby" her a little. But it was awful. At one point after she failed to canter after running into it and then bucking again, I pulled her up. And honestly, I didn't even pull her up. I just stopped asking her to go, and she hit the breaks and halted. She does NOT want to go. I almost cried. I told Jacel... she really just feels awful today... and it dawned on me... she's not green anymore. I can't keep blaming her issues on her being green. I'm not a professional, but... she's been off the track for 3 years now. She should be able to pick up a canter from the trot without 4 trot steps. She should be able to canter a smaller circle. There's something wrong.  

Jacel agreed. She basically said she thought I was on to something with my theory.. because she did NOT look like a foot sore horse. So then we investigated. We did loose rein work. And then we played with tighter circles with me only moving both hands to the inside... Which was hard but doable. Then we tried a smaller circle with a leading inside rein... much easier. So.. maybe it's the outside rein compression that is so objective?? I mentioned that and ruminated that she seems to be happy to jump and in the past... I kept saying she was lame but then she was sound in our jump lessons. And then Jacel said that even in our flat lessons, she was never really lame but we also focused very much on riding her hind end and ignoring where her head and neck were. And to be honest, when I'm alone, I probably do ride her face more because... I want her to not be inverted in an effort to save her back from bad posture. So... maybe her neck is just not one that I can compress or hold. Especially on the outside rein. Sigh.. so Jacel had already set up some canter poles on the ground with one little vertical on the blocks. So she told me to send her through it to see what happens but to basically give Lyric her head. So we did. And Lyric was fine. 

 

So we kept doing the grid and then she added some more verticals to it. All small... just up on the blocks. And... Lyric got happy. She stopped getting rooty and fussy and chompy. She stopped bucking. She started cantering without that awful running trot. Granted, she also got a little hot, but.. it didn't feel like a "running from the pain" hot.. .more as a "I'm enjoying myself" hot. Like... she was forward. So after we played for a bit, we took a break and chatted again. Jacel said that she thought I was right... and that perhaps I should just consider a hunter career for Lyric. She didn't think she was going to be able to do dressage comfortably. And she said that she wasn't ever going to be an upper level dressage horse regardless of whether her shoulder girdle was a mess or not because... she's just not built for her, bless her heart. And... she's not wrong, although Liz and I have seen some quite lovely work from her. But ... it's not like she'll ever be a nice enough mover to go past third level. And even then, it would be tough. Ugh... I think she's right though. I think I can't keep making poor Lyric miserable. She's such a good girl. She's trying so hard. She wants to be good. She's really trying. But she clearly said NOPE today. Repeatedly. And somewhat politely considering. We also talked about how when she first started jumping and was so green and I had to hold her head and be supportive and she was not brave.. and then eventually I got to where I almost had to push my hands at her at the base of the jump to get her to jump. Aha... because that was letting her neck lengthen back out. And then she got to where she was even jumping out of stride when I was able to send her and push my hands forward. So... yeah. This isn't a new thing... 

I wanted to try to do a nice little trot around the arena on a loose rein so that she could end on a good note. Because she was happy. Her eye was soft. She wasn't chompy or stressed. A whole different horse than when we were flatting. But bad timing because Jean's intern walked up then with the horses and she got all alert and high headed. I did pick up the trot and had to half-halt repeatedly because she was quick and wanted to canter. But we eventually got a fairly decent trot with her on a loose rein. It wasn't ideal posture, but.. it wasn't stressed and mad and trying to buck me off. 

So we headed back home. I gave her all the cookies, thanked her and turned her out. And she drank.. and then immediately wandered over to the trough and rested her belly. Sigh.. I'm so sorry girl. 

I'm going to inject her shoulder girdle this week, Friday at the latest. And then she'll get some time off and we'll go back to physical therapy for the holiday season. And probably January and February will be physical therapy and trail riding. There's still part of me that... if I can find a way to dressage her so she's comfortable, dressage should help her. But I'm not sure that I'm doing it the correct way for her at the moment. Maybe in my lessons with Liz and Jacel, but... probably not on my own. And maybe... it's a pipe dream. Yes, dressage should be beneficial to the horse, but.. maybe she really does have ECVM and no matter how "correct" she is.. it'll hurt. I need to take my own advice and allow her to use her compensations as she needs to be comfortable. It's just a delicate balance of keeping the compensations from creating worse problems... So.. I don't know. We'll take a step back.. inject... see what happens and figure it out as we go I guess. I suppose worst case scenario, she can be my occasional trail riding horse and my pasture companion horse. But I really do love her and enjoy riding her and would like to do some fun things with her if I could. Maybe she'll end up being western dressage too. Who knows? But I'm feeling really awful for all the things I got mad at her for... all the things I pushed her to do thinking she should be able to do them... So I guess now I have to listen better and make it up to her.