Well darn....

 I should have known, based on how this week was going. Sigh... Today was not our day. We had signed up to go to Chatt this weekend for our BN debut. Originally, I was planning to go to Full Gallop on Sunday, but I started thinking... if I did Chatt Saturday, I could do Kelly lessons Sunday. And, since Lyric was so overwhelmed with the atmosphere at Chatt last time, maybe it would be better to bring her back again. I figured that Kentucky would be fairly "electric" and big and more comparable to Chatt than Full Gallop would. But, Chatt was likely going to be a harder course. But we were going to have another XC lesson on Tuesday of this week (originally) so.. I thought that in the long run, Chatt was a better choice. Especially if I could move my patients around and school it on Friday. Plus it would be good for her to stay in a stall overnight before we do a week in Kentucky. 

Yeah... maybe not the wisest of choicest. I had also scheduled a friend to come do bodywork but she could only come Tuesday which meant, no lesson. Argh!! But that's okay, especially if I could school XC Friday at Chatt. That worked. So I was able to move my Friday afternoon patients to Thursday afternoon and then my Friday morning patients stayed on Friday morning.And then my 115 bales of hay was supposed to come Tuesday or Wed. I had one farm on Wednesday but it was likely not a full day so I thought that life was great...I get my hay Wednesday afternoon (which was perfect as I was down to my last 3 bales on Monday) and then we could go show. But my whole week kept getting shifted. My friend who did the massage was 2 hours late. Then the hay kept getting postponed, which was stressing me out to no end trying to figure out if I was going to have time to get it and get it unloaded. Turns out, it's still not here. And now I've only got one bale left and had to buy another bale for $33!!!!!! to get me through the show. And then I wasn't sure if I was going to make it to Chatt in time to XC school with Aubrey. But then luckily I finished early with my patients and Aubrey was running late too, so.. it all worked out. 

It was just her on Prada and me on Lyric schooling. Which was quite nice. They hacked down together quite politely although Lyric was a bit leery still and stopped twice. But no antics and she was MUCH calmer and didn't scare me. And there were a lot of people out schooling. We got to warm up and she was a bit tight and I immediately went into a perched position and got forward and widened my hands but dropped and locked them. And of course, Lyric got squirrely-er. Aubrey called me out on it and I was able to bend my elbows and sit up and back and it got better. She was still a tiny bit silly with that shoulder but not bad. So we trotted and cantered and jumped the cross rail and the oxer and she felt pretty good. We started at fence 1 and started with the tadpole fence. She was good so then we went to the first BN fence and she jumped it. She sort of peeked and propped but she did it. We came back around again and she was bolder and jumped it better. It was the classic Chatt hanging log on the ramp thing first fence. So then we went to fence 2, and we did okay with that. Then we went to fence 3 which was a table with big red poinsettias. A BIG table. We let Lyric look at it and walk past it. So then we tried to jump it. She stopped a few times and then sort of tried to get halfway over it and took the flag out. So we decided to skip it and wait til later. We jumped the tadpole one next to it and she was good and got her roll back on. So then we moved to fence 4 which was a skinny up bank to a roll top thing, maybe 2 or 3 strides out. We started with the second element and she was distracted by the water off to the side and stopped. So we came again and got her over it. Then we came again braver. Then we went to do the up bank and she kept squirting right. I had my right spur in her and was opening my left rein, but she still squirted around it 2 times, the 2nd time kind of half going through and half over it. So we came again and I actually had a much tighter connection with her mouth and she jumped it and then we managed to get out over the rolltop thing. It's hard because I know that at the very least I need to sit deep in the saddle and stay back and that's a given. But sometimes I feel like I need to push my hands forward at her and she gets confidence and sometimes I feel like I need to really keep a hold of her. I just don't always know which one to do. So then we headed to the next fence. It was a two stride on an angled line. Of cabin things. Seriously?! This is a beefy course Chatt! So I let her look at them and she spooked herself at the second one but then settled. So we jumped the second one from both sides of the first fence and she was still a bit unsure but did it. So then we did the combo. And she did it but... she put 3 or 4 strides in. Okay, but good girl still! 

Then you had to canter up the giant hill and turn left and jump an airy table thing off into space. It was small, but still. Lryic actually jumped that one the first attempt and so we did that once or twice. Then we actually cantered somewhat balanced down the hill into a trot and then came down the hill. So at this point... I'm feeling like we're making good progress and quite proud of how rideable she is. But starting to question whether I should run the whole 3 phase tomorrow or just do a CT. This just seems like a lot. So then you have to jump that jump, go down the hill, turn and jump the stone wall, also going down the hill upon landing, just not that steep of a landing. And it's a solid BN stone table. Wide. And she just said no. We tried a few times and I felt like the 2nd and 3rd and 4th time I was actually riding correctly and she *should* have gone, but she said "nope, I can't do it". Aubrey stopped me and basically said.... we've overfaced her. She's lost her confidence in these big tables and just isn't ready. I would suggest you scratch the XC portion of tomorrow and we just keep schooling. I told her that thought had already crossed my mind. But I wanted to cry now. Not because of what Aubrey said, but because I felt so bad for overfacing my horse. Who was really rideable and trying so hard to be brave and good. And she was being brave and good. But those are just really big fences and a really tough course. We were only at fence 5 or so and it already had two related questions...with short distances... a huge table... terrain... I mean.. maybe Aubrey was being nice but she mentioned that it was a championship caliber course. And fine.. it's towards the end of the "year" but ... gah! I just felt so bad. And at that point Lyric was even losing her confidence over the tadpole stuff. She stopped at the BN boat which wasn't that big. She was stopping and propping over the tadpole fences. So we opted to just do tadpole the rest of the course and she got braver by the end. I could get her jumping out of stride again, at least on the second attempt. 

Sigh... We ended on a good note, but.. I just feel like a horrible mom. I let her down. I pushed her. I should have realized. I should have gone to Full Gallop instead. And the poor girl scraped her leg all up climbing over one of the fences. I just... feel like I took so much money out of the bank today. And it's sad too because.. there's so much good there too. She was so much more ridable. She jumped some of the big and harder BN fences in the beginning and some she even jumped the first attempt. It just.. unraveled. But I learned how to ride her better. I was braver and more confident in my seat and position and how to ride through the slight sillies she had today. So while I had money put in my bank... I just feel like I took a big deposit out of hers. Sigh...

When we headed back, we stopped in the dressage arena's and let her walk around and she was much calmer so hopefully tomorrows dressage won't be as scary for her. And then we headed back and she got a bath and some grazing. She was super quiet and chill and relaxed in her stall. Although she's only pooped once in it. She did have some nervous poops on XC. And she ate her dinner and hay and some of her hay cubes. But it's been awhile since she's had soaked hay cubes. I took her for another walk this evening and she was grazing a little and sniffing around. So.. hopefully she's okay. 

After talking with Aubrey, she made me feel a bit better. She said that Kentucky is unlikely to be this challenging or big of a course. She suggested that I move patients around and come to Poplar next weekend. She suggested I school Friday with them and then show the 3 phase Saturday. I asked if she thought that was too much, given what happened today and she said she didn't think so. So.. that's the plan. Unfortunately by the time we had finished sitting and relaxing and chatting it was too late to text Barbara to see if I could move her to Thursday. And closing date was tonight at midnight. But, I'm just gonna hope Barbara doesn't mind because I entered. I guess worse case scenario, I just... lose my XC and overnight stabling fee. It's only $30 more for the night vs the day and with the day only I wouldn't have a stall. Of course I also paid $20 to have it cleaned for me. And XC schooling was $50. So.. we'll see. I'm sure Barbara will let me move her, even if it's to Tuesday. OH Crap!!! I can't move her to Thursday because of my appt for my passport. Ugh.. maybe I can move that around a hair.