The deed is done

 She's back in steel. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. I know I sort of panicked, but... I don't know. I just felt like we weren't making any progress towards getting closer to barefoot. And maybe I should have sucked it up for two more cycles and then let her go barefoot for a few months and give her some time off after RRP, but... I'm not sure I can do that. Plus if she's foot sore even on grass, that's not really fair either. And in reality, I can pull steel shoes and still do the same thing. But... now I'm back to worrying about fights and shoes... and ... shoes.... 

BUT... I did get to ride her and it's so hard to tell because... I think her saddle is bothering her. ARGH!!! Can I just not get something right with my poor horse?!? And on that note... now I'm going down the rabbit hole of pushing her too fast for the makeover and cramming her into a headset and riding front to back. I'm screwing her all up..... 

But yeah, so... I was a tiny bit cranky and a teeny bit rushed feeling but really wanted to ride. I had to work because of taking Friday off but I did manage to get home early enough to ride one. So I groomed her. I put her saddle on but realized I had put the thinline pad on instead of the halfpad. So I pulled the thinline out and went to put the halfpad with shims on and Lyric reached around and bit me. Fairly hard! Right on my back just at my bra. It hurt! So of course I smacked her and then because I'm hormonal (and maybe just me) I had to smack her again.... And then my saddle fell off, so I smacked her again, because I'm mad. Sigh... I rescued the saddle and tied her back up. And then I cried. Because... dammit.. she's been telling me that she's unhappy when I tack her up. I've noticed that she's started to snake her head towards me when I go to do the girth. And while I aknowledged it... it only registered short term. My brain gerbils are running so fast and hard on their wheels they are spinning off in all directions. So... I *knew* this information but didn't actually do anything about it. So.. shame on me. And shame on me some more. Sigh... So, since she seemed so reactive to the half pad, I thought... well, lets try just the thinline. 

We walked up to the arena and I lunged her to make sure she was sound with her new shoes. She was. She lunged decently... got some good long and low stretch. So then I got on. And she was fussy and bracey again. Sigh. So then I checked her saddle and it's sitting on her withers. Dangit... I can get one finger between it and it's not crushing my fingers but.. it's definitely setting on them. So... we hacked back to the barn and swapped to the county. It definitely sits MUCH higher up on her.. I can get 3.5 fingers between her withers and the top of the saddle. BUT... I feel like the shoulder gussets are pinching her. But we tried to ride... and she had good moments... maybe more good moments than with the PH. But still super fussy. We had some good moments though. But like... moments... and lots of not good moments. 

We headed back and I noticed that she had cut her right fetlock again. Sigh... I guess we'll ride with boots, but... now I'm not sure what to do for the dressage test. Although maybe Patrick will have some ideas. And Kim mentioned putting a bellboot on her for proprioceptive reasons (not to protect her). So we'll try that. 

I'm sorry girl... I don't even know what to do about anything right now...







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