Accepted..... and acceptance

So... we got accepted to RRP. But.... we may not go. had a meltdown after the trailering training didn't go well. talked to cindy... cindy asked if I liked her. did i like that ride.

which sent me down a spiraling wormhole... do I sell her? maybe she wants to be a hunter instead of a brave event  horse or trail horse. maybe it's me. is she ever going to be the type of horse I enjoy - brave, confident, trailers to all the fun places, does all the fun things...  or is she really a horse that needs her consistency and no changes? but then i got so upset thinking about selling her... and the herd... they get along, they're so easy together. everyone is happy. if I bring another one home and fleck gets a leg broken instead of a jaw?? maybe she can just live her and be my "at home" only horse for when i'm bored/have extra time... but is that fair to either of us? Will she get better? Does she just need more time? more training? bodywork? is she even really sound?

So.. yeah, rough day percolating through all that. then had the thought that maybe, she's not my RRP horse. Maybe that's not her purpose. Maybe the reason she's here is to teach me about acceptance, and patience... and letting things be what they are.... not striving? I mean... God dropped her into my lap, like I asked...  So, plan is to pray hard on it and ask for discernment. 

Anyways...so today... I vowed to try to meet her where she's at vs make her something she isn't (or isn't ready to be yet). We groomed at the trailer... trimmed her mane.. did a tiny bit of bodywork. then tacked up in the barn. Got a little nervous then. then walked to the arena and did our pillar walking. backed up. yielded ribs. then got on and walked.... power walked at first, but then she started breathing. did 10 meter circles and managed to get her barrel moving and her on all 4's square. got that nice and fairly consistent, then did zig zags then shallow serpentines. then trotted. same plan... but not the 10 meter figure 8, did 20 plus meter figure 8's. got some really nice calm work. Thought about cantering and decided not too and she got amped up again. But did take a walk break. But she settled quickly. Opted not to canter. 

instead finished with some really nice trot work and then went for a hack. got to the stop sign before she started to get a little nervous. managed to get to the hydrant before the lake with only minor nerves despite barking dogs, random music playing, and some cars. then hosed off in the washrack.. touched her butt... even put her back in the washrack and put the plastic pipe against her butt and no real concerns. Asked her to walk on while it was touching her butt and it took her a minute but she did. 

then fed her lunch at the trailer. I had to walk into the trailer to get it and she put her front foot on the ramp, so... okay. You offered, I didn't ask. You can now eat lunch on the ramp. She got both front feet on and I left it at that. let her eat... she stood and breathed for a minute and started to back off, so I immediately asked her to back off and turned her out.

Will talk to Aubrey tomorrow, and keep praying








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